Friday 23 April 2010

free pleats with every quilt!

As she turned over the newly stitched quilt she saw it. It leapt off the quilt backing and waved at her ... 
"Hello, I'm Mr Pleat. Are you pleased to see me?" 
"No I am not ..." she exclaimed.
"Who invited you and how did you get here?"

"Oh.. I came when you weren't paying attention.
You know when you thought everything was going so well and you would have this quilt done and off the frame in record time  ... do you remember?" He sang cheerfully.

"Oh yes" she said as she sighed deeply and wondered what on earth she was going to do about him.  Mr Pleat was not a visitor she welcomed but he was right ... he came at her own request. 

"Oh bloody hell  ... I can really do without you today.
 If I close my eyes and count to 10 can you disappear?"

"No, I don't think so."

"No, I didn't think you'd be so accommodating."

"So what shall we do then?
 Can we play let's get agitated, or let's get annoyed?"

"No .. go away."

"Please play with me ...
I love it when you get all stressed out. Pleaded Mr Pleat.

"No ... its not going to happen today.
I wont be playing either of those two games because you wont be here long enough".

 God it felt good to be in control for  once. No more heart sinking moments for her. She was queen of the pleat and he would be banished forever!

"What do yo mean ... I'm not that easy to get rid of.
You will have to unpick .. alot and you know how much you hate that.. then you will have to do something with all that excess fabric .. ha ... thats no easy task.
So, tell me ... just how are you going to get rid of me?" 

"Easy ... I will have to unpick a few stitches yes ... but not too many. And that excess fabric ... no problem ....
 I will use SPRAY STARCH."

"Spray Starch .. what are you talking about?"

"Oh dont you know that old trick Mr Pleat?
You are history mate ... a few shots of spray starch and 30 minutes to dry and you will shrivel away into insignificance"

" Oh no ... please don't." pleaded Mr Pleat.
 "Its my job ... I have to be here to make the quilt look awful!"

"Good bye" she said as she took the lid of the Robin spray starch can!


7 comments:

Marie said...

Excellent, that made me smile!

Trudi said...

Yayyy! You're back! Made me smile too!

Diane J. Evans said...

This was a truly inspired post, Tracey! I loved every word of it. I think you should submit it to a magazine -- people will love it AND benefit from it -- I know I did!

Diane

Unknown said...

Thanks for the advise on quilting tips, didn't realise you had loads of ideas to keep me going for the next year!! Kxx

Emma said...

Okay, does madness run in families?? You worry me sometimes - and you also make me smile!!

Tracey said...

Thank you for the lovely comments ladies. I am pleased to know I have made you smile and Emma .. yes we are all a little mad ... knitting with just one needle and not quite the full deck !

ps I would have replied individually but comments aren't coming through to my email for some reason at the moment!

sweetypie said...

wow! thats great, does it work on tummys and faces?